View Full Version : How Old Are You?
SK TastesLike KFC
11-29-2001, 07:36 PM
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the
pharmacist for Viagra.
The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."
The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said "That's all right. I don't need them for
sex anymore, as I'm over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out
far enough so I don't pee on my shoes".
11-29-2001, 09:08 PM
LMAO..Your funny KFC.
11-29-2001, 11:01 PM
An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?"
Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks again, "Nope." Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.
Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?"
Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow." Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"
To which Bessie shakes her head and replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. You shoulda bought a hat."
11-30-2001, 01:43 AM
lol.....thats a good one.
11-30-2001, 03:56 AM
I'm telling that one manana at work..
omg I'm still laughing
SK TastesLike KFC
11-30-2001, 11:10 AM
A lady stopped unexpectedly by her recently married son's house. She rang
the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing
naked by the door.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
"Why are you naked?" asked the mother-in-law.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.
"LOVE DRESS! You're naked," said the mother-in-law.
"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he
makes me happy," said the daughter-in-law. "He will be home any minute now,
so perhaps you could stop by a little later?"
Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way
home she thought about the "LOVE DRESS" and got an idea.
She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door
for her husband to come home.
Finally, his pickup truck drove up the driveway.
Her husband opened the door, and immediately saw his naked wife.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she said, excitedly.
"Needs ironing." he replied.
12-02-2001, 12:21 PM
An elderly couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so they
decided to return to the little town where they first met. They sat in a
small coffee shop and were telling the waitress about their love for each
other and how they met in this same spot. Sitting next to them was the local
cop and he smiled as the old couple spoke.
After the waitress left the table, the old man said to his wife, "Remember
the first time we made love? It was in that field across the road when I put
you against the fence. Why don't we do it again for old time's sake?" The
wife giggled like crazy and said "Sure, why not." So off they went out the
door and across to the field. The cop smiled to himself thinking how
romantic this was and decided he had better keep an eye on the couple so they
didn't run into any harm.
The old couple walked to the field and as they approached the fence they
began to undress. When they were naked, the old man picked up his wife and
gently leaned her against the fence. The cop was watching from the bushes
and was surprised at what he saw. With the vitality of youth, the wife
bounced up and down excitedly while the husband thrashed around like a wild
man. Then they both fell to the ground in exhaustion.
Eventually, they stood up, shook themselves and got dressed. As they walked
back towards the road, the cop stepped from his hiding spot and said,
"Forgive me for watching, but that was the most wonderful lovemaking I have
ever seen. You must have been a wild couple when you were young." "Not
really", replied the old man, "when we were young, that fence wasn't
12-02-2001, 02:46 PM
This old lady went to a doctor's office and told him that she has bad gas, but you can't smell it or hear it. So the doctor gives her two pills and tells her take them and come back tomorrow. She came back and said that you can't hear the gas but now you can smell it. Then the doctor says, "Good now we can work on your hearing."
12-02-2001, 03:12 PM
Horton: Classic. LMAO:D
10-24-2004, 06:14 PM
i thought id be cool and bump the oldest thread here after 3 yrs
10-24-2004, 06:25 PM
10-24-2004, 10:39 PM
omfg an even uberer bump then this one (http://www.unrealplayground.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3230)
10-25-2004, 09:24 AM
wow you are so cool...
some good jokes though.
10-25-2004, 09:32 AM
Not as 'uber' as these though.
STOP THE SPAM!
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