HortonsWho
08-12-2005, 06:51 AM
If there was a guy more destined to be crushed by hype, it's probably new Florida Gators coach Urban Meyer. Some think he's the second coming...
I ran across his amazing resume:
URBAN MEYER PROFILE
Meyer played defensive back at the University of Cincinnati.
Meyer was drafted by the Atlanta Braves, and played two seasons of minor league ball.
Meyer is licensed to practice law in 11 states. He can practice medicine in six.
Meyer briefly dated Scarlett Johansen.
Meyer once won a complete dinette set on Sale of the Century.
Meyer has pi memorized to 650 decimal places.
Meyer thought up the name, "eBay".
Starship Troopers was loosely based on Meyers Ohio upbringing.
Meyer is in charge of all restorations to the Statue of Liberty.
The only way to make Meyer disappear is to say his name backwards.
Meyer trained 2003 Belmont Stakes winner Empire Maker.
Condoleeza Rice wont leave the house without running her wardrobe by Meyer.
Meyer talked Hulk Hogan into joining the NWO.
That 50-year-old grandmother in the Bowflex commercial. Did her.
Meyer hosts a political show under the pseudonym, James Carville.
Meyer can eat an entire watermelon, including the skin and seeds, in one sitting.
Meyer actually invented the Internet but let Al Gore take the credit.
Meyer is part marsupial.
Meyer designed most of Urban Outfitters summer collection.
In 1986, Meyer co-wrote The Rain with R&B singer/songwriter Oran Juice Jones.
Meyer first drove Wade Boggs to the Bosley Institute.
Meyer invented LOL.
Meyers favorite drink: formaldehyde with a splash of grenadine.
Meyer can deadlift over 500 pounds. With his mind.
The Y2K scare was a hoax created by Meyer.
Meyer's favorite colors are forrest green and "shiny".
David Brinkleys last words were Urban Meyer.
Ken Shamrock thinks Meyer is the world's most dangerous man.
Meyer speaks nine languages, including Klingon and Aramaic.
Meyer can breathe underwater.
Meyer authored the Roe v. Wade opinion while sitting on the toilet.
It was Meyer's idea to move the juke button on NCAA 2006 to the right analog stick.
Meyer is widely considered the unofficial tenth member of the Wu-Tang Clan.
Meyer comes up with the names of hurricanes. He's most proud of...Georges.
Meyer does the voice-overs for all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Meyer is a secret character in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
I ran across his amazing resume:
URBAN MEYER PROFILE
Meyer played defensive back at the University of Cincinnati.
Meyer was drafted by the Atlanta Braves, and played two seasons of minor league ball.
Meyer is licensed to practice law in 11 states. He can practice medicine in six.
Meyer briefly dated Scarlett Johansen.
Meyer once won a complete dinette set on Sale of the Century.
Meyer has pi memorized to 650 decimal places.
Meyer thought up the name, "eBay".
Starship Troopers was loosely based on Meyers Ohio upbringing.
Meyer is in charge of all restorations to the Statue of Liberty.
The only way to make Meyer disappear is to say his name backwards.
Meyer trained 2003 Belmont Stakes winner Empire Maker.
Condoleeza Rice wont leave the house without running her wardrobe by Meyer.
Meyer talked Hulk Hogan into joining the NWO.
That 50-year-old grandmother in the Bowflex commercial. Did her.
Meyer hosts a political show under the pseudonym, James Carville.
Meyer can eat an entire watermelon, including the skin and seeds, in one sitting.
Meyer actually invented the Internet but let Al Gore take the credit.
Meyer is part marsupial.
Meyer designed most of Urban Outfitters summer collection.
In 1986, Meyer co-wrote The Rain with R&B singer/songwriter Oran Juice Jones.
Meyer first drove Wade Boggs to the Bosley Institute.
Meyer invented LOL.
Meyers favorite drink: formaldehyde with a splash of grenadine.
Meyer can deadlift over 500 pounds. With his mind.
The Y2K scare was a hoax created by Meyer.
Meyer's favorite colors are forrest green and "shiny".
David Brinkleys last words were Urban Meyer.
Ken Shamrock thinks Meyer is the world's most dangerous man.
Meyer speaks nine languages, including Klingon and Aramaic.
Meyer can breathe underwater.
Meyer authored the Roe v. Wade opinion while sitting on the toilet.
It was Meyer's idea to move the juke button on NCAA 2006 to the right analog stick.
Meyer is widely considered the unofficial tenth member of the Wu-Tang Clan.
Meyer comes up with the names of hurricanes. He's most proud of...Georges.
Meyer does the voice-overs for all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Meyer is a secret character in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.