Mofoco
02-24-2002, 12:44 AM
THESE QUOTES WERE TAKEN FROM ACTUAL PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS, And appeared in Fortune magazine
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom
and has started to dig."
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
curiosity."
3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
4. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but
more of a definitely won't be."
5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap."
6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there."
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
8 . "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them."
10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
11. "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts,
the better."
12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it
all together."
13. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus."
14. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a sign post."
17. "He brings a lot of joy. . . whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19 "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's
the other one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection"
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming."
24. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice
a week."
26. "If you gave him a penny for his thought, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
29. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom
and has started to dig."
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
curiosity."
3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
4. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but
more of a definitely won't be."
5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap."
6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change
whichever foot was previously in there."
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
8 . "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them."
10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
11. "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts,
the better."
12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it
all together."
13. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus."
14. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a sign post."
17. "He brings a lot of joy. . . whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19 "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's
the other one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection"
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming."
24. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice
a week."
26. "If you gave him a penny for his thought, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
29. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."